It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas!

Yes folks, it's our favorite time of year - CHRISTMASTIME!

The temp is a chilly 75 degrees Fahrenheit; the Locals have taken their furs out of cold storage; the streets and malls are decorated with lights, fake snow window designs and tacky tinsel; and even here at the Linerez flat, we've taken to sprucing up a bit for the holiday season. We have a "Charlie Brown" totally fake Christmas tree:

We hung our stockings by, uh, the TV with care:

And most importantly, we spent the entire weekend in Shenzhen buying fake goods for everyone on our Christmas lists. Let's hope we don't get detained by customs entering the U.S. with our loot!

We're off to Bali on Friday, so we'll have pictures from our next adventure up soon. Then, we're coming HOME for Christmas and New Year's! While we love living in Hong Kong, we miss our family and friends dearly and it just wouldn't be the holidays without a good 2-week dose of our crazy kinfolk. We can't wait!

Meet My New Boyfriend (Marc Doesn't Mind!)

Yes folks, that is me and MIKE WEIR! He's soooooo dreamy! Don't worry, Marc doesn't mind, in fact, he took the picture!

So, here's the low-down... two weekends ago, Marc found out that the Hong Kong Open was being played at Fanling golf course, a fancy schmancy members-only golf club in the New Territories. Being the avid golfer and golf fan that he is, we went to check it out. (For all you golfers out there, Marc has been invited to play that fancy schmancy golf course next week and he is super psyched about it.)

Now, I'm not a golfer, in fact, it's better for the safety of all those within 50 yards for me *not* to wield a golf club of any variety, even a putt-putt club. Watching golf on tv catapults me into a comatose state faster than you can say "Fore!" However, the ONLY exception to this is Mike Weir, man what a hottie. So, when Marc suggested going to the HK Open and I found out Mikey was going to be there, I gladly agreed. Hey, they say marriage is about compromising, right? I'm getting a head start.

The trip to Fanling took 1 1/2 hours on a shuttle bus and we got there around mid-afternoon. Marc salivated over the golf course for a while until I convinced him to find Mike. There were other famous golfers there too (not Tiger but others that I don't know) but I was on a mission.

We caught up with Mike on the 12th hole where he nearly made a hole-in-one. The ball hit the stick thingie with the flag, the one that sticks out of the hole and shot back out of the hole (it was on ESPN the next day!). I like to think I brought him some good juju even though he didn't get the hole-in-one. We stalked him for the next bunch of holes and I tried surreptitiously to wink at him as he walked from hole to hole but he was in a trance. It's OK, I forgave him since he has to concentrate, I mean it *is* his job.

At the end of the game, he walked off the field through a trellis where a bunch of cute Chinese boys were begging for his golf ball - "pleeeesss meester pleeeeees!" Mike then went into a tent to record his score and then came back out to do an interview. After all that, he got down to business, signing hats, golf balls, gloves, babies, boobs, etc. It was a bit of pandemonium:

But I got the goods:

Then, after he finished his autograph session, the best thing in the world happened. I noticed Mike was walking towards the clubhouse, so I made Marc get in position so he could snap a picture of him as he was walking past me. Marc was too slow and managed to miss the picture, but then, that's when Mike turned around and realized it was Sabrina The Puerto Rican who wanted a picture with him. HE TURNED BACK AROUND, walked over to me and voluntarily put his arm around me so Marc could snap the picture! He didn't do this for anyone else, just ME! Man, those Chinese people were pissed. I had to resist the temptation to do the "I'm awesome and you're not" dance.

All in all, not a bad way to spend a Saturday afternoon and I got a new computer desktop background out of it, tee hee hee! Here's to compromise! ;-)

Don't Tell Our Moms...

Place: Yangshuo, China

Language: Mandarin Chinese

Hello: Nĭ hău (knee how)

Thank you: Xièxie (shie shie)

There is a program on the Travel and Living channel over here called "Don't Tell My Mom I Went To [fill in the blank]." This guy travels all over the world to dangerous places like Afganistan and puts himself in some very sticky situations. That's how I feel about our time in Yangshuo.

It all started when I read that there were a few outfits in Yangshuo that would take you rock climbing on the karsts. Are you kidding me? Heck ya! I can't believe Marc didn't even tell me this was an option. He is no longer allowed to plan our itineraries because of this. So, after Marc's rousing game of ping pong with the Locals, we stopped by Karst Pizzeria which is a pizzeria, duh, and a rock climbing outfit. They also have a small hostel upstairs. Don't worry Moms, I read all about the rock climbing companies and chose the one that was highly recommended and specifically requested that the owner (who happens to have the most experience of all the rock climbers in Yangshuo) take us herself. I also checked all the ropes to make sure they were sturdy and new. We talked about our experience (mine at the rock climbing wall at Chucky Cheese and Marc's at the rock climbing wall at the Bull Durham minor league baseball game during the 7th inning stretch) and concluded we were beginners since we hadn't actually climbed a real outdoor rock/mountain/wall/cliff/ledge/hill. Our best bet was Baby Frog Rock, a good beginner's climb with good scenery for Mr. Shutterbug over here.

I wish we could say that we got a long lesson on how to climb the sucker in front of us but the only lesson we got was how to tie the ropes. I guess when it comes down to it, you just have to figure out how flexible you are feeling that day. To her credit though, our guide helped steer us in the right direction since she knew Baby Frog like the back of her hand. Marc went first, scaling the side of the karst like a spider monkey:

When he rappelled down, he whined like a little girl about how hard it was and how he didn't think I could make it. Waaa waaa waaaa, all I heard was a challenge and boy did I prove him wrong:

Not only did I climb that route, but I also climbed a more difficult route that went even higher. Don't worry Moms, we were only 10 feet off the ground, just enough to break a wrist but not die (see picture below).

As promised, the scenery was great and we took a bunch of pictures.

Rock climbers extraordinaire!

When we got back home, my mom almost reached through the computer to strangle me. I guess I won't tell her about the next dangerous thing we have on the itinerary for Bali... just kidding! (sort of).

Later that night, we went to a spectacular light show that took place on the Li River. We highly regretted forgetting the camera because it was a feast for the eyes. Over 600 performers put on a show unlike anything I've ever seen before. The karsts were illuminated making a magical natural backdrop. Cormorant fishers paddled on their bamboo rafts with lanterns. Chinese women and girls sang and danced in traditional Chinese costumes with elaborate headpieces and jewelry. At one point, over 200 performers wearing outfits made of white Christmas lights walked seemingly on the water (but really on floating walkways) in a long procession and flickered their lights in mesmerizing patterns. We bought the video so if anyone is interested, we can show you what we're talking about because I'm not doing a good job describing it.

The next day, we woke up early to bike around the surrounding farming villages and nearly wore our butts off on what had to be a 30 mile ride. We stopped frequently to take pictures like this one when we came across a bride and groom taking pictures in the rice paddies:

Nothing says romance like rice paddies, mud and water buffalo dung... We also stopped to see a 1,400 year old Banyan tree and to hike up Moon Hill. If you ever go on this trip, let me just warn you that Moon Hill is gorgeous but there are over 1,200 extremely steep steps and there are old Chinese women that follow you ALL THE WAY UP the mountain trying to sell you water and fan you with their bamboo fans. It's extremely irritating and no amount of ignoring or polite declining will deter them from possibly making a sale. The view at the top is worth it though:

Afterwards, we biked around the farms and came across this:

Yup, that's a water buffalo. Don't worry, he was accompanied by his owner, an old farmer lady that was gracious enough to drag her water buffalo out of the fields and let us take pictures with it. Many Locals have water buffalo to help till the soil for the rice paddies. It's really bizarre but you can be biking down the side of a road and all of a sudden, you're sharing the road with a family of water buffalo. Craziest thing I've ever seen - good thing they are tame!

Our biking trip was Marc's favorite part of the entire weekend and he took a TON of pictures like this:

And even another video:

After enough putzing around, we returned to the hotel to get our bags and a taxi to the airport. We thought we had plenty of time until the concierge told us it would take an hour longer than we expected to get to the airport. YIKES! We told the cab driver to step on it and BOY did he! The 1 1/2 hour ride from hell, I mean cab ride, involved lots of swerving to pass bikes, cars, buses, even people. We would swerve into ONCOMING traffic as if the cab were a ball in a pinball machine only to swerve back into our lane at the last possible minute. We turned on and off dirt roads without signs and, if we hadn't already used the same taxi driver the night before, would have thought he was leading us out back to get shot. I've been in many a harrowing taxi cab rides before, including Hong Kong and Thailand, but this one took the cake. We changed our pants before the we got on the plane, barely on time but on time nonetheless thanks to Speedybombeedy, and made it safely back home, much to the relief of our mothers.

Guilin - Home of 1,000 Carps

Place: Guilin, China

Language: Mandarin Chinese

Hello: Nĭ hău (knee how)

Thank you: Xièxie (shie shie)

We are just hanging out at the apartment this weekend, waiting for Morgan to call us, so I decided to post a blog about our travels to Guilin and Yangshuo.

[For those of you who don't know what/where Guilin is, just look up page 422 in 1,000 Places to See Before You Die (we're steadily making our way through this book by the way). For those of you who haven't bought this book even though I told you to, it's about an hour plane ride northwest of Hong Kong in the province of Guangxi.]

We left on Thursday night for a short weekender of action-packed adventure. The flight was non-eventful and we landed in Guilin around 8pm. Yet again, we have another story from the airport in Guilin. It seems that we can't start any vacation without some sort of note-worthy airport experience. My pea-sized bladder apparently couldn't survive the hour long plane ride so I rushed out of the plane in search of Le Toilet and came across this sign:

DO WHAT???!?!?! I was laughing so hard I just about didn't make it to the bathroom but luckily I did, without my passenger friend, and everything came out just fine,thanks for asking.

We made it out of the airport without further incident or confusing signs and made our way to the hotel. By the time we got there, it was late and we were both starving so we went to Congee City Restaurant, recommended by the concierge because it had a great variety of food available. So, I had some very tasty beef and vegetables with rice while Marc decided to go off the reservation and eat this:

Guesses anyone? I will give anyone who guesses correctly (and hasn't heard this story yet) $20 USD. Here is a close-up:

That, ladies and gentlemen, is duck jaw. Marc, in his infinite wisdom, decided to voluntarily eat the beak, tongue, ear canal and jaw ligaments of DUCK. Seriously? Out of all the things on that menu and he picks DUCK JAW? Granted, some of the other options weren't very appetizing either:

• Duck tongue (for those who don't want the ear canal I suppose)
• Soft-shell turtle
• That reptile I hate whose name starts with an S
• Donkey meat
• Guilin river snail (a local delicacy, how do you say escargot in Chinese?)
• Pig pizzle (what? There is some pig pizzle in the hizzle?)
• Sparrow (a "special kind of fish" according to the menu)
• Mouse-like fish (so, is it hairy?)
• Frog saute
• Squid on a stick
• Congee (I have no idea what it is, but you could order congee with EVERYTHING)

I'm all for being adventurous, but come on folks, some things just aren't meant to be eaten. Besides, Marc said it was kind of gristly and didn't have a lot of meat on it. Really? Does any animal have muscles around its mouth? Like I said, I stuck to my safe beef and vegetables and got plenty to eat. [I've been chastised for writing about gross Chinese delicacies because I'm deterring potential visitors from coming to Hong Kong, so I'm making more of an effort to elaborate that you can get a side of normal Western food to go along with duck jaw if you so choose.]

The next day, we woke up early to board our Li River cruise boat. Now, Marc and I are not the tour types, we like to set forth on our own adventure not shuffled like cattle from one must-see tourist attraction to another. However, some things we can't do on our own, like boating down the Li River (which is what the book recommended). So, we got on board with 100 other tourists and this kid:

Boy was HE excited to be there, he could hardly stay in his seat. Luckily, once we were moving, we were allowed to move all over the boat, including the top deck where we could take some spectacular pictures.

The scenery in this province of China is full of strange narrow limestone mountains called karsts. I kept forgetting what they were called, so throughout the trip, I kept saying "Take a picture of THAT corpse, it looks like a pencil!" or "Holy carp!" It was funny at the time. Marc ignored me and instead took so many pictures that I made him go through them all and delete 75% of them. Here is one we kept:

Marc's visions of the foggy Chinese-y mountain-scape was coming true and he was like a kid in a candy store. It was (secretly) very cute (shhhh, don't tell him).

On the boat, we met some Americans, the first since we moved to Hong Kong except for 1 of Marc's co-workers. It's amazing how many Brits and Aussies we run into, but Americans really are the minority. It was comforting to hear American accents and we spent some time telling the tour group members where to go in Hong Kong (their next stop on their itinerary).

The other group of tourists on our boat was a loud group of Spaniards who asked me to take their picture. When I said "Sure, no problem" in Spanish, they got even louder "Oh! She speaks Castellano! Let's get her to take a group picture!" One group picture turned into 20 and 5 minutes later, I was part of their group and even invited to dinner! Marc and I had other plans, so we declined but it was just really neat to meet other tourists who spoke our language(s) and who were enjoying China as much as we were.

We disembarked at Yangshuo 5 hours and 6,762.5 pictures later and found ourselves in a quaint farming river-town with more karsts and bicycles galore. Lonely Planet had offered this interesting item: "If you're like most, you'll come to Yangshuo for a couple of days after the Li River cruise but end up staying far longer." Even though it was a sleepy little town, it had so many things to do, we could easily have stayed a week exploring the town and its surrounding areas.

The main area of town next to the river is a big pedestrian walking mall with tons of unique Chinese handicrafts, paintings, clothes, fake Rolexes (of course), traditional musical instruments and jewelry. Also in town were tons of little coffeehouses and restaurants aimed at tourists' palates. You could get Italian, Greek, English pub food, even pizza! And it was good, not the weird concoctions we find sometimes when we go to the Pizza Hut in Hong Kong (prawn pizza anyone?).

We found our way to our hotel and quickly rented bikes, THE mode of transportation. Then, we rode along the river-side to a local market and made a pit-stop for Marc to play an intense game of ping-pong with one of the locals. It went like this:

• Marc sees Chinese men playing an intense game of ping-pong in the park.
• Marc says he wants to play ping-pong.
• I say OK, but they are going to kick your butt.
• Marc says I know.
• Marc plays old man at ping pong.
• Old man beats the pants off Marc at ping pong.

HELLO! They're Chinese, they invented ping-pong, what did you expect?

While Marc was getting schooled, I sat on the curb next to the guy whose head you see in the picture. We got to talking and he asked me how I was enjoying Yangshuo. I told him I really liked it and it was a very pretty town. Then, he asked me to fill out a page in a journal he had with my thoughts on his home town. His journal was just a regular black and white composition book but I could tell it had been used a lot. I flipped through the pages and saw about 100 pages filled with comments from other tourists from all over the world. How neat! I wrote a few paragraphs and he practiced his reading in English while I helped him with some of the harder words. Marc and I both agreed that this graze with the Locals was one of the most interesting moments of our trip.

Later that evening, we went back into town to line up some activities for the next day and called it an early night. Stay tuned for days 3 and 4 of our Yangshuo adventure. In the meantime, here's a video from our Li River cruise, you can see one of our newfound Spanish friends yet another picture at the end of the video. Enjoy!

Holy Batman!

Today, Marc met me at Subway on the escalator for lunch, something we do fairly frequently. However, today was a bit different because when I went to meet him, the first thing that came out of his mouth was "I just passed Morgan Freeman on the escalator."

WHAT??!?!?!?!?!

Turns out, Morgan was filming the newest Batman movie, The Dark Knight, just a few levels down on the escalator. To heck with lunch, who needs nutrition when there is a mega movie star in our vicinity? So, we went back down the escalator to Lyndhurst Street where we found hundreds of production crew members standing around and shouting into walkie talkies. We were in the middle of an honest-to-God movie shoot! At that point, we didn't know what movie, mind you, but I didn't care. Morgan Freeman was within 50 feet of me and I had a great view of him from the stairs!

We stayed for a while watching Morgan walk down a really Chinese-y side-street that I like so much - boring, I know, but the cameras were following him and the director was shouting Action! and the whole thing was just so Hollywood - right in the middle of Hong Kong! After Morgan did his strutting, his handlers shuffled him over to Pizza Express for lunch and pulled down the shades so we reluctantly went back to Subway to nourish ourselves.

Funny thing was, Marc had almost changed our lunch plans to go to Pizza Express, our favorite pizza joint, before he encountered all the craziness. AND, he had heard that the Batman movie was set to shoot in Hong Kong but that a key action scene was cut out of the movie because it involved dropping an actor into Victoria Harbor which is extremely polluted. (This tidbit turned out to be false: http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/entertainment/view/310579/1/.html )

After lunch, we went back to stalk some more and saw that all of the camera equipment had signs for the movie Rory's First Kiss. "Booo," Marc said, "I'm turned off now."

However, when he went to his office, he looked up the fictitious movie and found out that Rory's First Kiss is the code-name for Batman: The Dark Knight and that Morgan Freeman is one of the actors. So, it really was Batman!

The shooting was scheduled to continue this afternoon but I refrained from making my way down there to play the star-struck fan. Who knows, maybe we'll be at dinner this weekend and run into Morgan. We can invite him to our table to have drinks and we'll become fast friends. He'll invite us to Aspen to go skiing and Lake Como to hang out with Clooney. I'll be sure to write *all* about it...

National Day

The night we got back from Thailand was National Day in Hong Kong (October 1st), celebrating the beginning of nationhood for China. Even though Hong Kong is a special administrative region and has its own Special Administrative Region Establishment Day, it still participates in Chinese holidays like this one (did I mention they are smart?).

From our apartment, we could see the fireworks celebration taking place over Victoria Harbor:

No messing with crowds and Locals who don't really understand the meaning of personal space, it was nice to just sit in the living room window and watch the 30 minute fireworks display.

For those of you who were wondering, yes, some people celebrate Halloween here in Hong Kong. It's not as prevalent as it is in the US, but there are plenty of Halloween decorations everywhere and a few big street costume parties in ex-pat sections of the city. I did see some kids dressed up earlier in the week, but none came trick-or-treating which is a shame really because if they did, they would have one stop shopping, er, trick-or-treating! Our building as 33 floors, with 4 apartments per floor, that is 132 doors to knock on without having to walk very far!

We're off to Guilin, China this afternoon for a long weekend. We'll be back on Sunday so enjoy the past few blogs while we're out. I promise not to be so slack next time! :)

One Night in Bangkok

Place: Bangkok, Thailand

Language: Thai
Hello: Sàwàtdii (khráp/khâ) If you are male, you add khráp to the end to show respect. If you are female, you add khâ. (sa wa dee crap/sa wa dee kah)
Thank you: Khàwp khun (khráp/khâ) (ka pun crap/ka pun kah)

Yes, we actually spent one night in Bangkok like the song goes. And if Marc sings or hums that song one more time, I'm going to send him back to Bangkok with a one-way ticket. Honestly, how many times can one sing the chorus in one day?!!??!??!!

We also spent one whirlwind day trying to the most of our time in this crazy city. Luckily, I had studied the Lonely Planet guide thoroughly before getting there because after visiting, I have decided to rename Bangkok "The City of 1,000 Scams." If I hadn't read it myself, I wouldn't have believed it.

Lonely Planet warns:

Just Say No: Bangkok Scams. Be wary of smartly dressed men who approach you asking where you're from and where you're going. These upmarket con artists have the gift of the gab, but any promises they make will cost you money sooner or later. There are 4 typical schemes:

1 - Closed today. Ignore any "friendly" local who tells you that an attraction is closed for a Buddhist holiday or for cleaning. These are set-ups for trips to a bogus gem sale.

As soon as we exited our taxi at the Grand Palace, it took about 10 seconds for us to be approached by one of these guys. "It is Big Buddha Birthday today," he said. "The Grand Palace is closed and only locals can go to pray until noon, then it will reopen to the public." REALLY? Mmmmmhmmmm....

We got the SAME thing by another scam artist upon exiting the Grand Palace and I kept saying "No it's not, Buddha's Birthday is in May" until he left us alone (it really is, look it up). You can't even stop for 2 minutes to consult your map before you are accosted by these vultures!

2 - Tuk-tuk rides for 10B (1 Thai Baht = $0.03 USD, so about $0.30 USD). Say goodbye to your day's itinerary if you climb aboard this ubiquitous scam. These alleged "tours" bypass all the sights and instead cruise to all the fly-by-night gem and tailor shops that pay commissions.

Our "helpful" new friend then tried to get us to take this 10B tuk-tuk ride until the Grand Palace opened at noon. Um, yea, OK, like I'm going ANYWHERE with you buddy.

3 - Flat-Fare taxi ride. Flatly refuse any driver who quotes a flat fare (usually between 100B and 150B for in-town destinations), which will be 3 times more expensive than the meter rate. Sometimes walking beyond the tourist area will help in finding an honest driver.

This seemed simple enough. If they offered a flat fare, we would refuse and ask the driver to turn on the meter. Easier said than done. Around the main tourist sites, the taxi cab drivers would not accept our ride and would just drive off. Trying to get to the Chatuchak Market (see below), we hailed no less than 5 taxis who each tried to get us to ride for a flat rate of 300B-400B. We refused and walked a few blocks away until we got an honest driver and paid about 100B for the 45 minute ride.

4 - Tourist buses to the south. On the long journey south, pickpockets have hours to comb through your bags, breaking into (and later re-sealing) locked bags, searching through hiding places and stealing credit cards, electronics and even toiletries. One traveller reported that his stolen credit card was used to pay for the trip's petrol. How generous.

Thankfully, we did not take any buses so we didn't have this problem but if we ever travel from Bangkok to the Andaman Coast, we'll be prepared.

The thing that really gets me, though, is the audacity of the scammers. There are entire sections in guidebooks warning about them and yet, they continue to perform the same scam day after day. I mean, COME ON! The gig is up guys! I guess that some people really do fall for it or else they wouldn't keep doing it. But the real question is can you really make a living like that? I imagine cocktail parties in Bangkok going something like this:

• So, what do you do?
• I do the 10B tuk-tuk ride scam.
• Oh really? Me too! Where do you get your victims?
• The south-side of the Grand Palace.
• Oh, I used to do the Grand Palace. Now, I get mine on the north-side of the Reclining Buddha, I found better luck there. You should try it sometime...

After being accosted by the "friendly" local, we made it into the Grand Palace and MAN is it grand!

Is it me or do each of those guards look like Tiger Woods? Marc was making fun of me, because everywhere I turned, I saw Tiger. He is part-Thai after all.

The Grand Palace is a huge compound of buildings with beautifully ornate Thai roofs. The Palace grounds used to be used by the royal family but the new king decided he needed some new digs, preferably without as many tourists around, and therefore had a new palace built elsewhere in the city. The Grand Palace now, although heavily guarded, is only used for ceremonial pomp and circumstance and the scenery for many tourists' pictures.

Also within the walls of the Grand Palace is Wat Phra Kaew (Wat means Temple in Thai as you will find out soon enough). The temple buildings are even more ornate with beautiful gilded facades and intricate tile work. The 3 main spires that you can see in the following photo represent Sri Lanka, Thailand and Cambodia, and just to the right is another big building representing a Chinese temple:

Once inside, we were just in awe at the intricacy of the buildings' facades. There is even a not-so-miniature replica of Angkor Wat in Cambodia. On the Thai chedi (spire), I took this close-up to show you just how much gilded artwork and how many tiny little pieces of mirrored tile go into one small section of the chedi. These little pieces of tiles cover the entire building!

How would you like to be the guy that crazy-glued each of those little tiles on the building? Or even worse, checks the building for missing pieces?

Guarding the temple buildings are these big, mean, scary looking guards.

I'd be scared if I was a demon trying to get in and saw those 30 foot guards!
Hmmm, where in the world is Sabrina?

The main temple in the Wat Phra Kaew is home of the Emerald Buddha. You would think with such a name, he would be made of emerald, but he's not. He's actually make of jasper quartz and nephrite jade. Booooooo... I was hoping for a huge chunk of emerald. Also, he was a lot smaller than I thought he was going to be. Here's a few things I learned at the Temple of the Emerald Buddha that I can share since we weren't allowed to take pictures of the disappointingly small deity (although you can see some illegally taken pictures here http://reviews.ebay.com/The-Emerald-Buddha_W0QQugidZ10000000004604879):

• The Emerald Buddha gets dressed up all year long. He has 3 outfits made of gold and changed for the different seasons, one for hot season, one for the rainy season and one for the cool season. When we went, he was wearing the rainy season outfit. The King of Thailand gets to change the Emerald Buddha's clothing.
• All other Buddhas are also outfitted with the same outfit and there are a lot of Buddha in Thailand so there must be a lot of clothing getting changed.
• You have to Dress to Impress the Big Guy. In order to be allowed entrance into any temple, but especially the Temple of the Emerald Buddha, you must be wearing long pants (not capris), a shirt that cover your shoulders and closed-toed shoes. I read my guidebook and therefore, we were sweating up a storm in our jeans, t-shirts and shoes. However, some other people didn't read so closely (I bet they also got scammed) and they had to rent clothes at the gate before they were allowed in. Women got to wear long sarongs with silly prints on them while the men were wearing big baggy chef pants with similar silly prints. I wish they would let up on this policy. I mean, Catholics just say you have to have your shoulders covered. We went in OCTOBER and it was 95 degrees, can you imagine in the dead middle of summer? I bet people die of heat stroke!
• You can't wear your closed-toed shoes in the temple (so what's the point of wearing them in?). You must take your shoes off before you enter and put them somewhere on a really long shoe rack among everyone else's stinky shoes. Marc suggested I go up to the woman attendant and tell her I was looking for a size 6 1/2. Funny boy, that made me forgive him for the first 10 renditions of One Night in Bangkok.
• You can't point your feet at the Buddha. So, when entering, you must take care to point your feet elsewhere and since there are no seats in the temple, you must kneel with your feet tucked under you or to the side.

Man, that's a LOT of rules! Every single temple in Thailand is like that! There also all kinds of other social rules you must obey. Like, as a woman, I can't touch a monk or his belongings (not that I'd want to) and to avoid an accidental brushing, I must not sit next to a monk if on a bus and let them pass first on a crowded street. I was paying acute attention to this as there are many monks walking around the temples. I even saw a woman get up from her seat on a water ferry and move to the other side of the boat when a monk got on.

Thai people do a bow like the Japanese called a wai, they put their hands together as in prayer and bow a little bit upon greeting you and saying goodbye or performing some service to you. You can return a wai to an adult but not to children or servers.

The head is considered the highest part of the body, so you must never touch a Thai on the head or ruffle their hair. Conversely, the feet are considered the lowest part of the body and you should never step over them if they are lying on the floor, stepping around them or asking them to move instead.

When handing something to someone, like money, you must use your right hand and place your left hand on your elbow as a sign of good manners.

If eating at someone's house, you must never eat everything off your plate or else it looks like you are still hungry. Instead, you should over-serve yourself and leave a little bit of food on your plate.

Thailand was definitely a cultural experience and I really enjoyed learning about all their customs even if I did have to think carefully about everything I did and I lost 10 pounds in sweat visiting 3 temples in 95 degree weather.

Next up, we took a tuk-tuk ride to the Temple of the Reclining Buddha (or Wat Pho). A tuk-tuk is a colorful little motorized rickshaw, and they aren't just for tourists. Locals use tuk-tuks for riding short distances, although most locals don't take silly pictures like this:

Yup, we're a couple of dorks. The guy in the front is our funny tuk-tuk driver. Approximately 3 minutes later, we arrived at our destination. The Reclining Buddha is the largest reclining Buddha in the world; it is 138 feet long and 45 feet tall. We could hardly get the whole thing in the picture:

I was going to do something funny like take a picture with me sticking my finger in the air as if I was picking the Buddha's nose, but #1 - it's too tall, and #2 - Marc convinced me not to. Dang Thai temple rules!

Finally, we visited our last temple, Wat Arun, which looks like a gigantic missile. In order to get there, we had to take a water taxi across the Chao Phraya River which cost us a whopping 12 cents (US). In fact, on our way back, we didn't have enough change and the lady who was taking our money couldn't make change for us, so she let me go on it for free - WOAH, big spender! Marc took this great shot of some kids playing in the Chao Phraya from the water taxi:

We watched these kids jump in the murky brown possibly dengue-fever-ridden water about a half dozen times. I was shocked that anyone would let their kids do this but when I got back, my godmother (who lived in Thailand for 11 years) told me that the locals do everything in the Chao Phraya, even brush their teeth! Ugh!

Wat Arun isn't much to write home about:

It doesn't have any Buddhas in it, but from the top of the monument, you can get some really great views of the city, including the Grand Palace across the river. While there I was able to do the stick shaky fortune telling thing and got the following fortune #10 and no, I'm not making this up [editor's notes in brackets]:

"Like being dumb [what?]. Difficult to express yourself clearly [Do they know I'm an attorney?]. Feeling uncertain [about what exactly?]. Forthcoming child shall be a baby girl [what if I had been a male and got this fortune?]. Lost items could never be recovered [isn't that why they are lost?]. Illnes condition unfavorable [I'm feeling fine thanks, except for the queasy feeling I get when I read a typo like Illnes, get a dictionary!]. Discovering a mate who could become a satisfactory match [does the engagement ring give it away?]. No lucks [then why am I happy, engaged and living in a cool city where I get to travel a lot?]. Should be careful [thanks mom]."

Done with our temple hopping for the day, we quickly peeled off our respective jeans and changed into shorts to go to the Chatuchak Market. Lonely Planet describes the market as follows: "This gigantic market is the daddy of all Thai markets, with thousands of vendors selling everything from live rabbits to hill-tribe handicrafts to potted plants, crockery and hardware. This is easily the best place in Bangkok to buy handicrafts, clothes and other impulse buys. Good souvenirs that you can find here include silver hill-tribe jewellery, traditional Thai clothing, Thai and Lao silk, opium pipes, wooden chopsticks, stainless steel Thai cutlery, lacquerware, bamboo placemats, wooden bowls and cases, reproduction celadon, bronzeware, woodcarvings, baskets and fake brand-name jeans... Phew! Around 200,000 people mob the market every Saturday and Sunday." Nope, that's not a typo - 200,000 people! They are not exaggerating, that place is a zoo, literally and figuratively. Folks, there is a section where you can buy pets and not just cats, dogs, birds, reptiles, and hamsters, you can even take home your own pet squirrel:

It took me 5 minutes to convince Marc we couldn't take a squirrel across international borders. We almost got lost inside the 30 acres of the stalls several times but managed to find a map and used Marc's trusty compass to get around. By the time we got there, we only had about 2 hours of shopping before all the stalls started closing, but we did do some damage, buying Christmas presents, Thai masks and my personal favorite, a wooden elephant stool we named Bert:

He is actually carved out of a tree trunk if you can believe that. We are currently using him as a plant stand in the window. I cannot tell you how insanely cheap most things in that market are, and nice stuff made of real wood and hard-carved not mass-produced schlock. Bert set us back a little less than $20 (US) and he is big! About 1 foot in diameter and a foot tall, he weighs 20 pounds easy, just ask Marc who had to carry him back on his head to the hotel and onto the plane. The beautiful exotic items in this huge market are the sorts of things you see at Pier One Imports or Cost Plus World Market for 3-4 times what they cost at Chatuchak. I'm sure that the buyers for those places actually go to this market to buy things in bulk and jack up the prices in the US. It's going to make me think twice about buying things in those stores now that I know how cheap they are in Thailand!

If I were more of an entrepeneur, I would find a way to import these items into the US and have my own housewares stuff. Those Buckhead Bettys would go nuts over some of the most exotic items, knowing that Suzy down the street will be jealous and paying a pretty penny for their one-of-a-kind knick-knacks. In fact, while we were haggling over Bert, 2 women and a man were purchasing 30 wooden elephant stools to take home to Iran and sell in their store. Marc started talking to them and they admitted they could make 70% profit on the wholesale price they were purchasing the stools for. Heck, in the US, I'd bet you could get 150% over wholesale!

As for Bert, I have no idea how we are getting him to the US, but we'll find a way.

Operation Ko Samui

Place; Ko Samui, Thailand

Language: Thai
Hello: Sàwàtdii (khráp/khâ) If you are male, you add khráp to the end to show respect. If you are female, you add khâ. (sa wa dee crap/sa wa dee kah)
Thank you: Khàwp khun (khráp/khâ) (ka pun crap/ka pun kah)

I thought about posting a blog written entirely in sarcasm like this:

Ko Samui sucked. Big-time. Man, the weather was sunny the whole time. The beaches had this awful soft sand and turquoise waters. Plus, there were Thai ladies that would massage you for $10 (US) and it felt terrible. Our trip to Ang Thong was a huge disappointment with redundant scenery of mountains, tropical islands and the most boring blue water you've ever seen. Plus, the elephants were big and hairy.

But, fearing that the sarcasm wouldn't translate well into the written form, I'm just going to have to revert to talking about how great everything was.

We disembarked our "speedboat" (another 2 hours getting back) on Ko Samui and took the complimentary shuttle to our hotel. Funny thing happened on the way, see, we were on a group shuttle and had to drop off some other people at another hotel before ours (this becomes important in a minute). When we pulled up to our hotel, Marc got his bag off the top of the shuttle van and I waited patiently for the driver to get mine. Um, except mine wasn't where they put it when we arrived. In fact, it wasn't in or on the shuttle anywhere. I said, "Where is my suitcase? You know, the BIG RED one that you can't lose?" The driver looked at me sheepishly and said "Oh, Anantara." Yes folks, they left my suitcase in the driveway of that other hotel where we dropped off the other people. Luckily, it was only 5 minutes away, so I checked in while Marc rode with the driver back to the hotel to get my bag which, remarkably was still in the middle of the driveway and not in the couple's room.

Crisis averted, we asked the hotel front desk lady about transportation on the island. We had read and witnessed first-hand that most people on the island get around on little motorized scooters like mopeds or small motorcycles. However, I had also read the fine print about the dozens of drivers and riders who die each year on the death-mobiles. Apparently, mothers see fit to scoot their ENTIRE families around on one moped. Usually, a kid in the back, one riding in front and one strapped to her chest. People even take their dogs around for a little scoot! But the front desk lady assured us that if we drove safely and slowly and didn't let the "real cars and trucks" bully us off the road, we would be fine. The guy that usually rented out mopeds was around somewhere she said, so she went and got the key from him. We didn't have to fill out any paperwork or get insurance or anything. They didn't even need to see our passports or identification of any kind, nor did we actually have to show a drivers license or certify that we even knew how to drive. So, nerdy helmets in hand, we rented our 2-person moped for a mere $8/day.

Man, was it fun! After I got over my fear of other mopeds zipping dangerously close to us, the steep hills and sharp curves, and released my death grip on Marc, we had a blast! We rode that thing everywhere on the island, including the middle of the island where we met Nicole.

Nicole, the big, hairy elephant, was awesome. She took us on a ride through the jungle in the middle of the island. The guide even let Marc and I take turns at the driver's wheel, er, head. We stopped every once in a while to let her eat grass (she has to get her 500 kilos every day somehow) and drink water, then she led us to the Na Muang waterfalls. Nicole was really docile and when Marc dropped his water bottle, she even picked it up for us. I think it (the elephant trekking, not dropping his water bottle) was the highlight of Marc's trip.

Next up, we scooted into town where we putzed around and bought touristy t-shirts and walked through a local market. I was intrigued by the local "cuisine":

In the first two bins, those are caterpillars with spinach leaves, the bin she is scooping out contains what looks like larvae and the last 2 bins are fried grasshoppers tossed with more spinach leaves. That kid you see in the picture? He couldn't stop eating them! I saw him eat 3 just while standing there taking a picture. Marc said he would have tried a grasshopper but there were bugs flying around the "food."

Seeking out more conventional food and sanitary conditions, we made our way back to the hotel where the front desk lady praised us for not dying on the road and gave us a great restaurant recommendation. We walked down the street about 5 minutes to a little place called Starfish and Coffee. Strange name, I'll admit, but Chef Ming prepared our calamari appetizer, a silver pomfret fish with mango chutney for me and a lemon pepper pomfret fish for Marc in front of our very eyes:

Oh man was it tasty! Then, we had the best dessert ever: mango with coconut sticky rice. I've been having this dessert at every restaurant we've been to that has it on the menu ever since. Diet? What diet? It's rice and fruit, which is what skinny Asians eat anyway, how bad can it be?

While we were eating dinner, I noticed little balls of fire behind Marc's head and I realized that I had seen these things before on the travel channel. Somewhere north on the island, people were setting off these little tealight hot air-balloon things and they were alighting into the starry night sky. In India, the Locals do the same thing except, they put the tealights in these tiny floating boats and make a wish on them as they send them down the river. This picture doesn't do it justice but we watched those little candle balloons go way up until it seemed they were going to reach the moon:

The next day we woke up early for our day-trip to Ang Thong National Marine Park. For those of you who have seen the movie The Beach, you might remember that this is where the mythical Beach is supposed to have been. Yes, it actually exists but there is no community of rastafarians living in the middle of them and you don't have to fend off machine-wielding marijuana farmers, luckily for us. The national park is an archipelago of islands and no one is allowed to live on the islands. In fact, you can only snorkel on one small part of the ocean around the islands and there are certain islands that you are allowed to visit if you pay the park fee. Some of the filming took place in Ang Thong while most of the scenes were filmed on other islands off the west coast of Thailand. We're going to seek them out and report back.

Now, Marc and I aren't exactly the tour group types, we like to explore on our own and find our own unique forms of transportation and itineraries. However, since taking a tour boat to the islands is the only way to get to Ang Thong, we really didn't have a choice. We boarded our speedboat along with about a dozen other tourists to start our day-long journey. First stop, we passed by "James Bond Island" (JBI). I'm using quotation marks here because this is not actually James Bond Island, it is a replica of the real James Bond Island off the west coast of Thailand (again, another place we hope to explore on future trips). Next, we pulled up to a small island next to JBI with a thin strip of beach where we spent some time on the beach, wading in the crystal clear water and exploring some really neat caves made out of cut-outs on the island. It is sort of hard to describe, so here is a picture of the cut-outs I'm talking about:

We horsed around in the caves produced by these cut-outs for a while and, what else? We took pictures:

As part of the tour, we also got to go sea kayaking around the island for about 45 minutes. Can you guess who was doing all the work?

After our scenic work-out, we were taken to another part of the island which is actually part of Ko Samui and where people are allowed to inhabit the island. There, we were served a sumptuous Thai lunch with the rest of the folks on the boat.

It is at this point where I'm debating whether to tell you about a couple that we noticed on the boat. I'm always afraid of offending anyone but Marc said that anything we witness on vacation is fair game, so here goes.

Our boat was a melting pot of nationalities, there were Asians, Brits, Spaniards, Aussies, Americans, you name it. But one couple in particular just seemed like they didn't belong, not in the group mind you, but together. The female was obviously Thai and, once he spoke, we are taking an educated guess that the male was Dutch. His English was great, while his "partner" didn't speak a lick of English. They were traveling with another Thai/Dutch couple and it was clear that the men knew each other and the women knew each other. Every once in a while you could hear the females talking amongst themselves in Thai. The other couple actually seemed together, like they were married, but the couple in question looked like they just met the previous week. The female, let's call her Sue, was young and dressed to the nines. I'm talking fancy stilettos, short shorts with a flashy belt, sparkly top, designer sunglasses and a white straw hat that had "Amazing Thailand" written on the band. She looked like she was getting ready to walk the strip in search of a rich John. The man, let's call him Bob, was older than her by about 20 years and dressed more appropriately for a boat ride among the Thai islands in a t-shirt and shorts but had a matching "Amazing Thailand" hat. He was really outgoing and spoke to us a few times making funny remarks but Sue was having nothing of it. Sue looked extremely bored to be on the trip and even fell asleep at times on the boat. She went along with the motions of kayaking but she didn't even acknowledge that Bob was in the kayak with her or even that she was supposed to be with him. It was very strange. And Bob just looked like a kid in a candy store, like he has just won the lottery with Sue. He kept looking over at her with this love-struck glimmer in his eye while she obviously ignored him. It was painful to watch just how much she detested being with him. Yet, they had obviously been traveling together at least for a few days because we later saw those hats in Bangkok.

Since we couldn't outright ask them what the deal was, we came up with a story of our own but I have a feeling we are very close to the truth. Again, not trying to offend anyone or create any stereotypes about Thai women, so here goes. We think Sue is supposed to be Bob's mail order bride. Thailand is known as a place where men can come to find beautiful Thai brides, so we're not actually going on a limb here. We think that they met a few days before and that the other couple was also a product of the mail order system. My guess is that the girls knew each other and the first bride told Sue that her husband had a great friend for her, so they set it up (not a true mail order scenario but that Bob came to meet her, take her home and marry her). Now, I don't know why she wasn't more excited to have a sugar daddy taking her on a tour of Thailand, but why else would they be together when it was very clear that they didn't know each other? Marc's more sinister hypothesis involves monetary compensation but I'm not so sure about that one. I think Bob just wants a PYT (pretty young thing) to take home, show off and "take care of." We'll never know for sure, but I will say that we saw another couple later on in our trip that fit the same description so who knows...

Back on the boat, we rode around the islands and Marc took about 5 pictures a minute. More beautiful islands/water/scenery, blah blah blah. We docked another island where we hiked up some rocky terrain to see the Emerald Lagoon, the place where The Beach was supposed to be. The Emerald Lagoon doesn't actually have a beach, so the rest of the filming took place on other islands, but that didn't stop Marc from taking 47 pictures of it from different angles. The lake itself is entirely surrounded by mountains so that there is no exit to the sea directly from the lake. However, the water in the lake is sea water that percolates from an underground tunnel. Marc was kind enough to take a video for your viewing pleasure:

After that, the boat took us to the place in Ang Thong National Marine Park where you are allowed to go snorkeling. We had brought our own gear so we were able to use our fins to get away from the rest of the group who had been given loaner masks and snorkels but no fins. With our new-found freedom, we were able to go exploring in some caves that even the boat driver didn't know about. The caves opened up into cavernous rocky rooms that were 30 feet tall. At the top of one cave, there was a cenote, or an opening where the sun was able to shine in. It was really neat. Sorry, no pictures because our digital camera isn't waterproof.

After a day of excitement, we were dropped off near our hotel. We had a drink by the pool and then got ready for dinner. As we didn't have any recommendations for dinner that night, we did a dumb thing and went to a place that we recognized because we had seen many billboards advertising it. The place was called the Happy Elephant and it was terrible. Honestly, the fish I ate tasted awful and made me ill the next day. The entertainment was a father/son duo who couldn't carry a tune a bucket, and we were seated right in front of them. The only applause they got from me was when they went on a break. However, I figured that if the only bad thing about Thailand was the Happy Elephant, I could live with that.

We retired early to bed as our flight the next day left at 6am for Bangkok. We only had one day in Bangkok and we were planning on making the most of it.

Stay tuned for One Night in Bangkok, coming up in a few days, I promise. I can't put it off any longer since we're going to China on Friday, so I can't get behind on my blog posting!

I Have a New Favorite Country

Place: Ko Tao, Thailand

Language: Thai

Hello: Sàwàtdii (khráp/khâ) If you are male, you add khráp to the end to show respect. If you are female, you add khâ. (sa wa dee crap/sa wa dee kah)

Thank you: Khàwp khun (khráp/khâ) (ka pun crap/ka pun kah)

I have a new favorite country, and it's name is Thailand (sigh).....

Yes folks, France is *so* 2005. Now that I am a (more) seasoned traveler, I have realized that there are places better than the Musee d'Orsay and the French Riviera -- and cheaper too! Thailand is absolutely magical and the people there are SO nice, certainly nicer than the French who turn their noses at you if they even suspect you might be American.

Our tour of Thailand began with, what else? The airport. We flew from Hong Kong through Bangkok to Ko Samui, an island off the eastern coast of Thailand in the Gulf of Thailand.

{Editor's Note: If you have ever seen a little movie called Meet the Parents, you may remember Operation Ko Samui where Ben Stiller tries to out Robert De Niro but instead foils De Niro's surprise honeymoon trip for his daughter. More on that (Ko Samui, not the movie) later in Part Deux.}

We land at Ko Samui International Airport and take a little tram (like the kind they have in the Disneyworld parking lot) from the runway to the luggage pickup, which is under a thatched roof. See, the airport is not indoors, it is open air, like a Florida mall. I see the sun for the first time in 2 months and I immediately have to put on my "Chanel" sunglasses. While I wait for the bags to arrive via a separate tram, Marc gets our boat tickets ($30 for a 2-hour speedboat ride) so that we can get to Ko Tao, our destination for the next 2 days. I look around and notice that there are quite a few backpackers, you know the kind: large, stuffed hiking backpacks with marijuana leaf patches, dreadlock hair, wrinkled clothes, grime from the night (or perhaps 2 weeks before), sandals optional. It's like I have stepped into the movie The Beach. I realize quickly that these travelers are not here for fun in the sun, they are here for the Full Moon Party, set to take place that night on Ko Pha-Ngan. Think Ibiza, but dirtier and more drugs. Lovely.

Before we board the 2-hour speedboat, I smartly decide to use the restroom at the airport. I don't know what I was expecting, but the nicest, cleanest, most chic public bathroom I have ever seen was not it. Seriously, there was a 300 gallon aquarium with tropical fish in the wall as you enter, then inside, there is a zen garden-type courtyard complete with fountain (to help you go if you need, I suppose). The stalls are individual rooms with beautiful wood panels and high-end fixtures. There were even fresh orchids next to the sink. I told Marc (the connoisseur of high-end bathrooms) that he HAD to check it out and he was equally impressed.

We got on the boat and settled in for the long but scenic ride to Ko Tao where Marc took approximately 6,824 pictures. Along the way, we dropped off the backpackers in time for their 4:20 appointment. We also dropped off some families who were spending the day in Ko Nang Yuan (more about that later too). We pulled into paradise, I mean Ko Tao, and docked next to the long-tail boats used to ferry people around the island and across the bay to Ko Nang Yuan. It was at this point that Marc began his affair with the long-tail boats. There are more pictures of these boats than me, him or us combined.

From the dock, we took a "taxi," and I use that term loosely, to get to our accommodations. I say loosely because it wasn't so much a taxi as the back of a pick-up truck. Not joking.

As we had passed the Ko Tao coast on the way to the dock, Marc had taken some pictures of the cute bungalows next to the water. On the Thai islands, you can stay in these really cheap bungalows right next to the water for as little as $40/night. It's incredibly cheap and the food on these resorts are just as cheap and delicious. Although he was just taking scenic pictures, Marc actually managed to accidentally but fortuitously take a picture of our bungalow at Charm Churee Village.

We were up in that little hut labeled Cabin 7, one of the Panorama Bungalows. And boy did we have a nice view:We had an entire little cabin to ourselves with a private front porch with a hammock and a back deck with lounge chairs, it was too cute for words. Now, I'm going to say this right now, we are not employees of Charm Churee, nor did we get paid to say this, but it is BY FAR the best place I've ever stayed. And really affordable too! If we were to stay in a little bungalow like Cabin 7 in the US or the Caribbean, expect it to set you back several thousand dollars a night. The service was incredible and the private beach owned by the resort, Jansom Bay, was just a few hundred yards down some steps:

We met the owner, Jackson, who took several pictures of us with the scenery in the background and told us about the resort and how each cabin is built by hand. He employs Locals from the island and they can finish a cabin in about 3 months. In fact, from where this picture was taken, they were building another one. Jackson even came up with the idea to put bamboo rafts in the middle of the bay for people to sit or lay on, and build an open-air massage cabana on top of the cliffs overlooking the ocean.

We went down to the beach where we ordered lunch and daiquiris, then snorkeled for a bit in the crystal clear waters of Jansom Bay. The fish are absolutely fearless, they come right up to you and there are so many that sometimes you have a hard time seeing the other fish and coral because they are all up in your business!

After 2 fruity frothy girlie drinks with pineapples, umbrellas and various other accoutrements, we passed out on our respective beach chaises and proceeded to fry to a crispy pink color. And yes, Moms, in case you are wondering, we did have sunscreen on. Now, I know what it is like to be a whitey - it hurts.

Later that day, we walked into town where we booked our dives for the next day and met some quirky New Zealanders. They helped navigate us into town from Charm Churee and had us laughing the entire way. The highly recommended the resort's restaurant and, since we hadn't made dinner plans yet, we went ahead and took their recommendation. Man, what a good idea that was.

The restaurant is on a wooden deck on top of the water, the perfect place to see the sunset and enjoy more of the fruity cocktail concoctions we had on the beach. We ate there again the second night and I ordered the same exact thing, it was THAT good! For the record, I highly recommend the corn fritters for appetizers, shrimp tempura and pineapple rice for the main entree, and homemade coconut ice cream for dessert. Plus, it was really neat because you sat on these weird Thai floor cushions that support your back and you can just lounge after a big meal and watch your belly expand before your very eyes!

Seriously though folks, if you go to Thailand, which you MUST go sometime in your life, go to Ko Tao and stay at Charm Churee. The airfare may be expensive and just a tad bit out of the way but once you get there, everything is so cheap and good, that it totally makes up for it. I'd say it would be the same amount of money total as if you went to the Caribbean and then you can make your friends jealous when you tell them you went to Thailand for your summer vacation.

The next day, we woke up *early* to go diving at 2 famous diving spots in the Gulf of Thailand: Chumphon Pinnacle and Southwest Pinnacles. I wish I could say it sucked, but it didn't. It totally lives up to the hype. We saw sharks, a blue-spotted ray, tons of really colorful tropical fish, some of which I hadn't even seen before, and some really great coral with colorful clams that would close up if you waved your hand in front of them. Some of the boys even saw a moray e--, but as you probably know if you know me at all, I totally did not want to see it, so the dive master told me when to swim around the coral so I wouldn't hyperventilate and die. It's not good for business if one of your divers dies. In any event, I hear it was about 2 feet long. I mean, HOLY CRAP! 2 FREAKIN' FEET LONG! (breathe, breathe, breathe.......)

Moving on... The only thing that I wish we could have seen was the illusive whale shark. Apparently we missed a baby whale shark the day before even though it wasn't prime time for them to be swimming around. At least we've seen the whale sharks at the Atlanta Aquarium - I love that vixen Trixie!

After we got back from our morning dives, we debated going back out for some afternoon diving or waterskiing in sumo suits. Yes, ladies and gentleman, on Ko Tao, you can get pulled behind a boat in all manner of things: skis, wakeboards, tubes and even a sumo suit. Being the avid waterskier that I am, I HAD to try it out even though my wrist may not technically be 100% healed but alas, it wasn't meant to be as the waterskiing was on the other side of the island and we couldn't get over there without renting an ATV and risking our lives even more to get over the steep mountain in the middle of the island. Fine.

Instead, we went to Ko Nang Yuan where we had dropped off some day-trippers the day before. We hailed a water taxi (a/k/a/ Marc's mistress, a long-tail boat) and hopped aboard for the 5 minute ferry over to the island which is also a national park. We had to check our flippers at the entrance of the park because they want to protect the coral and fish around the island. The island itself is really small but has really picturesque beaches and these weird rock formations that somehow don't move despite what I erroneously believed was the fairly important rule of gravity:

We did some more snorkeling, climbing on rocks, laying around and took even more pictures before we went back to Ko Tao for massages and dinner.

Oh. My. Goodness. We had Thai massages in the little massage cabana overlooking the water at night under the almost-full moon and I swore I did not want to go anywhere else for the rest of my life. This tiny Thai woman took my body and contorted it into positions I didn't even know were possible - and It. Felt. Good! Marc laid next to me getting pounded into submission by his own tiny Thai man and every once in a while I could hear him happily grunting. And get this, an hour of massages in the cabana cost us a whopping $30 and that is EXPENSIVE for Thailand! Usually, they are $10 if you get them on the beach. Seriously folks, you have to go.

The next day, we were scheduled to go back to Ko Samui for the second leg of our Thailand adventure and trust me, we did everything in our power to miss our boat, but we knew we had to leave in search of more adventures, if only to be able to write about them on this blog. So, we boarded the speedboat and took off for Round 2.

Videos from Ko Tao can be found at the following links. Enjoy!

Ko Nang Yuan

Jansom Bay