Friday, March 27, 2009

The Baster Incident

I was in the middle of roasting an entire chicken when I realized that I needed a baster. I had tried to scoop up the juices from the bottom of the roasting pan with a spoon and drizzle them back over the chicken to no avail, so I had to turn off the oven and head to the Japan Store in search of a baster. The Japan Home Goods Store is a bit like Big Lots, they have a lot of crap but in seasonal supply, meaning you never know if you will find what you are looking for. I scoured the kitchenware aisle and couldn't find a baster, so I asked the lady at the counter if they had any in stock. This is how the conversation went:

Me: Excuse me, do you have a baster?

Lady: (blank stare)

Me: You know, for basting a turkey or a chicken?

Lady: (blank stare)

Me (light bulb going off on top of my head, rummaging around in my bag for a scrap piece of paper and pen): Here, I'll draw it for you.
Lady (making basting action): Ahhhhhh!!!! (Something in Chinese)



Me: YES!! (I then proceed to make the aforementioned basting action, complete with slurping noises, making a complete fool out of myself) That's it!! Do you have?



Lady: No, out of stock.



Me: Of course you are.



Undeterred, I went to the grocery store where I knew they had a limited selection of kitchen utensils. I was also unable to find a baster but I did happen to find something that I thought would do the trick.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the story of how I came to use a balloon inflater (which came with a set of 20 long balloons and instructions on how to make a balloon poodle) to baste a roasted chicken. And boy, was it good!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

My Parents Are Coming! My Parents Are Coming!

Like Paul Revere with his prophetic warning, I feel the urgent need to hop on horseback shouting down the sidewalks of Hong Kong.

Shopkeepers: bring out your finest merchandise and get your haggling calculators ready because my mom is coming with not 1 but 2 empty suitcases!

Museum Curators: dust off your finest collections and disinfect the earphones of your English language audio tour guides for my father's thirst for knowledge can never be satiated!

And God save us, Marc and Brina, the hosts and tour guides for these 2 Puerto Ricans who have never been to Asia.

Hong Kong -- Watch Out!