Don't Tell My Mom I Shot an AK47 in Vietnam!

In keeping up with our adventurous and slightly dangerous (in a calculated risk sort of way) travel style, we continued our tour of duty in Saigon by visiting the Cu Chi Tunnels. In the words of my mentor, Dave Barry, "No, I'm not making that name up."

The Cu Chi Tunnels is an underground tunnel network over 200 kilometers in length that the Viet Cong (the guys in the North) used during the Vietnam War. These tunnels are not for the claustrophobic or metabolically challenged. Here is a series of pictures showing our really skinny Vietnamese tour guide going into hiding:

See that hole in the ground about a foot long and maybe 5 inches wide?

That's right, he's going in it. Yes, this is a real life person, not a mannequin.

Then he pulls the lid over his head and PRESTO CHANGE-O, he is invisible. Seriously, you can't see him or detect that there is a trap door even if you were standing as close as we were.

Man those guys were sneaky. They would hide in these tunnels for weeks at a time, doing all of their business (and I do mean ALL of their business) without even alerting nearby troops of their proximity. Then, all of a sudden, they would pop out of their hiding spots and annihilate the enemy. We even got to go into the tunnels to see what all the fuss was about. Well, I say "we" but I really mean Marc, Andy and me because Aleks wussed out and wouldn't go in. I don't know why, it's not like they were cramped quarters or anything. Maybe she got freaked out by the fact that these tunnels have been carved into the ground and survived for decades despite erosion.

Look, even the shorties had to kneel down to get through! Seriously though, I don't blame Aleks, it was really dark and creepy in there. I can't imagine spending weeks in there with dozens or even hundreds of men waiting to attack.

In the middle of the thick jungle where the war was taking place, these hiding places made the Viet Cong practically invincible. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is when the Americans started dropped bombs. When you can't see who you are fighting, just blow the whole dang place up, right? Here is a crater left by a B52 bomb, it's big.

So, we had heard from one of Marc's colleagues that after the tunnel tour, you could go to a gun range and shoot off all sorts of guns, including AK-47's which are illegal in the US! He claimed that they even let his 14 year old son shoot an AK-47. We were psyched to hear about this. So, not to be shown up by some punk 14 year old, we all decided to give it a go (well, everyone except Aleks again), because seriously where else can you fire one of these bad boys? Mom, close your eyes.

Yes, you heard him correctly, he wants to use the automatic setting. So, I show him how it's done. Check out my face before I fire, it's priceless!

And not to be outdone, Andy joins in on the fun while Aleks soils her pants behind her gun-toting husband (excuse the expletive at the end).

Adrenalin pumping and considerably lighter in the wallet (man those bullets were expensive but totally worth it!), we got back on the bus to head back to Saigon. That night, we went to a fancy schmancy restaurant as a wedding present from Andy and Aleks.

The food was excellent, the ambiance elegant and everything was going so well until we went out to a bar for a nightcap and I started getting some serious hot flashes -- and it wasn't even hot outside! I was seriously thinking I was going through early menopause until all of a sudden, I dashed to the bathroom and proceeded to throw up the entire lovely meal we just had. Ugh, no fun. Man, I have no idea what happened but after the purge, I felt much better and thankfully, no one else seemed to have been affected the same way. Bedtime for Brina...

The next day, we checked Reunification Palace off our tourist sites to see checklist.

It used to be the White House of South Vietnam until the North won and drove tanks through these front gates to claim it as their own. Can you imagine having your Cheerios one morning and all of a sudden a huge tank comes barrelling through your front yard? The war was officially over after that.


We had some fun inside the Reunification Palace which is just a museum now. Here I am ignoring the rules and basically being a total goof-off. The sign on the desk is a bit small, it says "Don't Touch the Object." Luckily, we didn't get kicked out as visiting a Communist jail cell is not high on my list of things to do and places to see.

We putzed around the city for the rest of the day and the girls capped off the day with massages at the massage parlor next to the hotel. Wow, what an experience. We walked into the building and were led upstairs to a dark, open room where there were about a dozen people sitting in chairs with their masseuses contorting their bodies into positions I didn't know were possible! These little Vietnamese women were even walking on people's backs! It was like walking into the set of a really strange movie and wondering how you stumbled in there. Nonetheless, we sat for our 1-hour massages which were tame by comparison. I guess you really get the full treatment with the 2 hour deal. Relaxed and happy, we went back to the hotel to pack up for the trip back home.

When we arrived in Hong Kong, it was Marc's turn to get sick, so I played tour guide while he slept his bug away. Aleks, Andy and I went up to the Peak where Andy had fun with the light exposure settings on his camera. Check out the ghostly effect:

Aleks and Andy enjoyed the rest of their trip in Hong Kong while Marc and I had to work during the week. They did all the cool things to do in Hong Kong like Stanley Market, Dim Sum, shopping for camera stuff, Jade Market, trying a Chinese herbal medicine shop, seeing the wet markets up close and personal, the Laser Light Show and lots of other cool stuff that you can experience if you just come visit!*

*This ad is brought to you by the Sabrina and Marc's Campaign to Get Their Friends and Family to Visit Hong Kong, in conjunction with "Wow, We've Been Here for a Year and Only Had One Set of Visitors," a subsidiary of "What Are You Waiting For? Do You Need Us to Gift You Some Airline Miles?"