I Have a New Favorite Country

Place: Ko Tao, Thailand

Language: Thai

Hello: Sàwàtdii (khráp/khâ) If you are male, you add khráp to the end to show respect. If you are female, you add khâ. (sa wa dee crap/sa wa dee kah)

Thank you: Khàwp khun (khráp/khâ) (ka pun crap/ka pun kah)

I have a new favorite country, and it's name is Thailand (sigh).....

Yes folks, France is *so* 2005. Now that I am a (more) seasoned traveler, I have realized that there are places better than the Musee d'Orsay and the French Riviera -- and cheaper too! Thailand is absolutely magical and the people there are SO nice, certainly nicer than the French who turn their noses at you if they even suspect you might be American.

Our tour of Thailand began with, what else? The airport. We flew from Hong Kong through Bangkok to Ko Samui, an island off the eastern coast of Thailand in the Gulf of Thailand.

{Editor's Note: If you have ever seen a little movie called Meet the Parents, you may remember Operation Ko Samui where Ben Stiller tries to out Robert De Niro but instead foils De Niro's surprise honeymoon trip for his daughter. More on that (Ko Samui, not the movie) later in Part Deux.}

We land at Ko Samui International Airport and take a little tram (like the kind they have in the Disneyworld parking lot) from the runway to the luggage pickup, which is under a thatched roof. See, the airport is not indoors, it is open air, like a Florida mall. I see the sun for the first time in 2 months and I immediately have to put on my "Chanel" sunglasses. While I wait for the bags to arrive via a separate tram, Marc gets our boat tickets ($30 for a 2-hour speedboat ride) so that we can get to Ko Tao, our destination for the next 2 days. I look around and notice that there are quite a few backpackers, you know the kind: large, stuffed hiking backpacks with marijuana leaf patches, dreadlock hair, wrinkled clothes, grime from the night (or perhaps 2 weeks before), sandals optional. It's like I have stepped into the movie The Beach. I realize quickly that these travelers are not here for fun in the sun, they are here for the Full Moon Party, set to take place that night on Ko Pha-Ngan. Think Ibiza, but dirtier and more drugs. Lovely.

Before we board the 2-hour speedboat, I smartly decide to use the restroom at the airport. I don't know what I was expecting, but the nicest, cleanest, most chic public bathroom I have ever seen was not it. Seriously, there was a 300 gallon aquarium with tropical fish in the wall as you enter, then inside, there is a zen garden-type courtyard complete with fountain (to help you go if you need, I suppose). The stalls are individual rooms with beautiful wood panels and high-end fixtures. There were even fresh orchids next to the sink. I told Marc (the connoisseur of high-end bathrooms) that he HAD to check it out and he was equally impressed.

We got on the boat and settled in for the long but scenic ride to Ko Tao where Marc took approximately 6,824 pictures. Along the way, we dropped off the backpackers in time for their 4:20 appointment. We also dropped off some families who were spending the day in Ko Nang Yuan (more about that later too). We pulled into paradise, I mean Ko Tao, and docked next to the long-tail boats used to ferry people around the island and across the bay to Ko Nang Yuan. It was at this point that Marc began his affair with the long-tail boats. There are more pictures of these boats than me, him or us combined.

From the dock, we took a "taxi," and I use that term loosely, to get to our accommodations. I say loosely because it wasn't so much a taxi as the back of a pick-up truck. Not joking.

As we had passed the Ko Tao coast on the way to the dock, Marc had taken some pictures of the cute bungalows next to the water. On the Thai islands, you can stay in these really cheap bungalows right next to the water for as little as $40/night. It's incredibly cheap and the food on these resorts are just as cheap and delicious. Although he was just taking scenic pictures, Marc actually managed to accidentally but fortuitously take a picture of our bungalow at Charm Churee Village.

We were up in that little hut labeled Cabin 7, one of the Panorama Bungalows. And boy did we have a nice view:We had an entire little cabin to ourselves with a private front porch with a hammock and a back deck with lounge chairs, it was too cute for words. Now, I'm going to say this right now, we are not employees of Charm Churee, nor did we get paid to say this, but it is BY FAR the best place I've ever stayed. And really affordable too! If we were to stay in a little bungalow like Cabin 7 in the US or the Caribbean, expect it to set you back several thousand dollars a night. The service was incredible and the private beach owned by the resort, Jansom Bay, was just a few hundred yards down some steps:

We met the owner, Jackson, who took several pictures of us with the scenery in the background and told us about the resort and how each cabin is built by hand. He employs Locals from the island and they can finish a cabin in about 3 months. In fact, from where this picture was taken, they were building another one. Jackson even came up with the idea to put bamboo rafts in the middle of the bay for people to sit or lay on, and build an open-air massage cabana on top of the cliffs overlooking the ocean.

We went down to the beach where we ordered lunch and daiquiris, then snorkeled for a bit in the crystal clear waters of Jansom Bay. The fish are absolutely fearless, they come right up to you and there are so many that sometimes you have a hard time seeing the other fish and coral because they are all up in your business!

After 2 fruity frothy girlie drinks with pineapples, umbrellas and various other accoutrements, we passed out on our respective beach chaises and proceeded to fry to a crispy pink color. And yes, Moms, in case you are wondering, we did have sunscreen on. Now, I know what it is like to be a whitey - it hurts.

Later that day, we walked into town where we booked our dives for the next day and met some quirky New Zealanders. They helped navigate us into town from Charm Churee and had us laughing the entire way. The highly recommended the resort's restaurant and, since we hadn't made dinner plans yet, we went ahead and took their recommendation. Man, what a good idea that was.

The restaurant is on a wooden deck on top of the water, the perfect place to see the sunset and enjoy more of the fruity cocktail concoctions we had on the beach. We ate there again the second night and I ordered the same exact thing, it was THAT good! For the record, I highly recommend the corn fritters for appetizers, shrimp tempura and pineapple rice for the main entree, and homemade coconut ice cream for dessert. Plus, it was really neat because you sat on these weird Thai floor cushions that support your back and you can just lounge after a big meal and watch your belly expand before your very eyes!

Seriously though folks, if you go to Thailand, which you MUST go sometime in your life, go to Ko Tao and stay at Charm Churee. The airfare may be expensive and just a tad bit out of the way but once you get there, everything is so cheap and good, that it totally makes up for it. I'd say it would be the same amount of money total as if you went to the Caribbean and then you can make your friends jealous when you tell them you went to Thailand for your summer vacation.

The next day, we woke up *early* to go diving at 2 famous diving spots in the Gulf of Thailand: Chumphon Pinnacle and Southwest Pinnacles. I wish I could say it sucked, but it didn't. It totally lives up to the hype. We saw sharks, a blue-spotted ray, tons of really colorful tropical fish, some of which I hadn't even seen before, and some really great coral with colorful clams that would close up if you waved your hand in front of them. Some of the boys even saw a moray e--, but as you probably know if you know me at all, I totally did not want to see it, so the dive master told me when to swim around the coral so I wouldn't hyperventilate and die. It's not good for business if one of your divers dies. In any event, I hear it was about 2 feet long. I mean, HOLY CRAP! 2 FREAKIN' FEET LONG! (breathe, breathe, breathe.......)

Moving on... The only thing that I wish we could have seen was the illusive whale shark. Apparently we missed a baby whale shark the day before even though it wasn't prime time for them to be swimming around. At least we've seen the whale sharks at the Atlanta Aquarium - I love that vixen Trixie!

After we got back from our morning dives, we debated going back out for some afternoon diving or waterskiing in sumo suits. Yes, ladies and gentleman, on Ko Tao, you can get pulled behind a boat in all manner of things: skis, wakeboards, tubes and even a sumo suit. Being the avid waterskier that I am, I HAD to try it out even though my wrist may not technically be 100% healed but alas, it wasn't meant to be as the waterskiing was on the other side of the island and we couldn't get over there without renting an ATV and risking our lives even more to get over the steep mountain in the middle of the island. Fine.

Instead, we went to Ko Nang Yuan where we had dropped off some day-trippers the day before. We hailed a water taxi (a/k/a/ Marc's mistress, a long-tail boat) and hopped aboard for the 5 minute ferry over to the island which is also a national park. We had to check our flippers at the entrance of the park because they want to protect the coral and fish around the island. The island itself is really small but has really picturesque beaches and these weird rock formations that somehow don't move despite what I erroneously believed was the fairly important rule of gravity:

We did some more snorkeling, climbing on rocks, laying around and took even more pictures before we went back to Ko Tao for massages and dinner.

Oh. My. Goodness. We had Thai massages in the little massage cabana overlooking the water at night under the almost-full moon and I swore I did not want to go anywhere else for the rest of my life. This tiny Thai woman took my body and contorted it into positions I didn't even know were possible - and It. Felt. Good! Marc laid next to me getting pounded into submission by his own tiny Thai man and every once in a while I could hear him happily grunting. And get this, an hour of massages in the cabana cost us a whopping $30 and that is EXPENSIVE for Thailand! Usually, they are $10 if you get them on the beach. Seriously folks, you have to go.

The next day, we were scheduled to go back to Ko Samui for the second leg of our Thailand adventure and trust me, we did everything in our power to miss our boat, but we knew we had to leave in search of more adventures, if only to be able to write about them on this blog. So, we boarded the speedboat and took off for Round 2.

Videos from Ko Tao can be found at the following links. Enjoy!

Ko Nang Yuan

Jansom Bay